Clem has been in the world for a little while now. And people seem to like her.
This makes me feel a bit like this:
There is so much of me in this book, so when people say they like it, I feel all Sally Field (“You like me!”).
You know what means the most, though? When people from the coast say they liked it. When my friends, my family, my schoolmates, the beautiful girl in the year below (SHE LIKED IT OH MY STARS I AM FINALLY COOL); when they say they dug my writing, that means heaploads. Because I wrote this book for them.
But thank you, everyone, for taking the time to read this little, spotty, happy book. You are (to quote Tiger and Mr Chicken), magnifique, and I love your socks off.
The strangest, loveliest thing has happened.
I’ve been so unwell lately: first gastro, then a nasty cold, ear infection, sinusitis, ALL OF THE YUCKY THINGS. Blah blah, poor me, but oh holy moley it sucks sometimes, having a weakened immune system (especially with a Small Person around because, you know, ALL OF THE BUGS).
But this isn’t a post about sickness. It’s a post about wellness. Because, as I gradually make my way back to normal, I’m finding it’s a new kind of normal. A peaceful one. I’ve been so miserably ill for so long, feeling almost okay feels … magical.
I’m smiling more, laughing more, dancing more, and my back is more duck-like, slings are arrows more water-like.
It might last a day, a week, a month, but right now things seems pretty golden, most of the time.
And then I get a tiger cuddle, or she learns how to say “discombobulated”, or I read her The Pain and the Great One for the very first time, and I feel like I really might burst from the happy.
I like this new normal. I want it to stay.
I had a beautiful day today.
It wasn’t exceptional, I guess, in the scheme of grand days that Other People might have.
It had blue skies, though, and blueberry crepes, and a bouncing girl in fairy wings, and reading and writing and hugs and holding that same small girl as she slept and dreamed.
And laughter. Snorting, crying laughter.
It was a good day. Not a big day. But a happy one. And I was grateful.
It’s been ages since I’ve blogged. Ages. But I read somewhere that it’s annoying when people who blog apologise for not having blogged, so I won’t apologise.
Instead, I’ll just tell you that Tigesy and I have ear infections and they suck.
And that Clementine is in many shops and it makes my heart feel all melted-chocolate-like too see her having adventures In The Real World.
And I will also give you a very happy squirrel.
Here he is.
And I hope that will be enough 🙂
Tomorrow is launch day for Clementine. And, of course, I am terrified.
And, of course, I feel unworthy.
And, of course, I feel like there are so many other, better, people, who deserve these blessings more than I do.
The only thing I keep telling myself is that I held on, and I tried, and I believed, and that is a thing to be proud of.
And, also, that tomorrow isn’t about me. It’s about Elise and Jodie and the Onions. It’s about my dear brother. It’s about Mr Hiller and my friends who inspired the story. And it’s about hugging the people who will come along to smile with me.
And there will be biscuits and colouring and Tiger will be wearing her wings and she will think the whole thing is a bit crazy, but I hope one day she remembers pieces of it and feels glad that her mummy held on.