Musical mashups

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Ever since my small Tiger girl was a Very Small Thing, I’ve been quite partial to making up the odd song for her entertainment.

That’s a lie.

I’ve actually, kind of, sort of, always stolen other people’s songs.

This is because I don’t have a musical bone in my body. I can write words good (sometimes), but ask me to pen a melody and the best I can do is a Men At Work (or Coldplay), and summon up some half-remembered tune from my subconscious. I’ll be convinced it’s my own, until I listen to my Robbie Williams CD again, or Josh Ritter, or Jimmy Buffett and meekly shelve my plans to be the next Laura Marling or Justine Clarke. Because I’m a song-stealer. I pilfer their melodies. I just change the words.

The first one I remember doing (and yes, I was very, very, very tired at the time), goes as follows:

“It’s all right, it’s okay. Doesn’t really matter if you’re a very small BABY”.

I thought I was the most talented new mother OF ALL TIME until I realised I was singing my masterpiece in a South-West Londoner accent. Until I realised, in fact, that I was singing it in the exact accent belonging to Dennis Waterman.

I’d stolen the New Tricks theme song.

Another one I knew from the beginning was not ALL of my own creation …

“What’s a matter you? HEY! Why you look so sad? HEY! It’s a not so bad. It’s a nice a place, my Tiger pretty face …”

A bit kinder than the original version, at least …

But anyway, my point in all this is to tell you all that it’s catching. Tigesy has inherited my love of tweaking song lyrics. She’s also a fan of the musical mashup. Hence tonight’s musical extravaganza:

“Wincy wincy poider climbed up the water sky so high. Zoom zoom a zoom a zoom zoom sleeping and the cows have gone to BED … UP jumped the scarecrow and dis what he said … Humpty Dumpty all the king’s horses giddy up go go GO! Little lamb, little lamb gently down the STREAM again!”

It’s a bit retro. It’s a bit cutting edge. It’s my Tiger girl. Giving Chris Martin a run for his money since 2012.