Things I’ve learned in my short time as a mum …


Oh how I love that little ear!

In the past seven weeks since our Tiger was born, I’ve learned, felt and experienced more than I had in the past thirty years of my life. Here are just some of the things I’ve learned:

  1. All the parenting things you were adamant about before giving birth fly out the window as soon as the baby comes. Tess was never going to wear pink. I was never going to call her “princess” and I was never going to refer to myself as “mummy”. Fail, fail, fail.
  2. The house will not be clean. Ever. Again.
  3. Babies poo as soon as you take their nappy off. Ditto wee. And little girl wee CAN squirt up, down, left, right, and amazing distances.
  4. There is, like Tennis Elbow, Athlete’s Foot and RSI, such a thing as “Baby Cuddling Wrist”, especially when you have a baby as cuddly as ours.
  5. You’ll never love your husband more than when you see him hugging your child.
  6. A vomit is only a vomit if it is massive. Otherwise it’s a “spill” or a “posset”.
  7. Poos, wees, burps and farts are all praise-worthy actions.
  8. Babies fart a lot.
  9. Baby fart smells really bad.
  10. Conversely, breast-fed baby poo smells actually not too bad.
  11. Baby wipes can be used for EVERYTHING.
  12. Ditto botty butter.
  13. Your ability to make anything into a song increases exponentially once you’re a mother. “What’s going on in the nappy? What’s going on in the nappy? What’s going on, what’s going on, what’s going on in the nappy? Tessa did a poo in the nappy, Tessa did a poo in the nappy. Tessa did a poo, Tessa did a poo, Tessa did a poo in the nappy. Now she’s pooing again, Now she’s pooing again. All over my hands, all over my hands, now she’s pooing again …”
  14. Babies make zombie noises and do Exorcist eyes.
  15. The above is surprisingly cute.
  16. Babies make so much noise when they’re sleeping. Most of it is to do with things going on in the nappy.
  17. Writing, editing, reading, eating can ALL be done while breastfeeding!
  18. Your capacity for love grows and grows until you think your heart will explode but it never does.
  19. Kissing baby heads, chins, ears and cheeks is the BEST FUN!
  20. Nothing else will ever matter to you as much as your child or children. Nothing.

There are a million more things I could add to that list, but another thing I’ve learned is: having a baby turns your brain to custard and makes you randomly stop speaking in the middle of …

So I’ll stop there.

What have you learned since becoming a mother or father?

5 thoughts on “Things I’ve learned in my short time as a mum …

  1. Fantastic, I have a 16 week old, it is incredible how fast they change. Being a mom is a wonderful experience.


  2. That was so gorgeous, Kate. You’ve brought back many memories for me. Our David is now 25 – where have those years gone? I still remember that sweet smell of his tiny baby body and his little fingers curling around mine. And so many other things.
    Treasure every moment, as you are doing, for babyhood is fleeting and a new era of surprise and wonder awaits you – toddlerhood. β™₯


  3. This is all so, so true! Thanks for sharing, as well as making me laugh, it made me remember my early motherhood experiences, now 7 years gone.
    For me – it only got better! πŸ™‚


Comments are closed.