Poor Shane Warne

Poor Shane Warne

I was talking to my dad the other day about Shane Warne. Now, this is not something I do very often. I’m not a cricket fan. In fact, I’m about as big a fan of cricket as I am of cleaning Mephy Danger’s litter tray. I find it SO BORING. Throw the ball, hit the ball, run up and down, run after the ball, throw it back, aaaaannnnddd do it all over again. My dad has tried to explain to me for a zillion years that it’s much more complicated than that: there are things called “leg before wickets” and “silly mid offs” and “googlies”. This does not enhance my appreciation of the sport, but thank you, dad, for trying.

So, why was I talking to my dad about Shane Warne, then? Well, see, here’s the thing: I want him and Liz to get together. I want the powers that be to reinstate his TV show. I want him to SUCCEED! My dad didn’t really get this. “Don’t you just want him to do well?” I asked. “No,” said my dad (who is, by the way, an extremely caring and compassionate person, usually). “He deserves all of this. He’s a plonker. Why do you care?”

That made me stop and think. I’d always just assumed people ALWAYS cared, when someone was going through a rough trot. I assumed EVERYONE picked up magazines about Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears and Whitney Huston and Robert Downey Junior and just hoped and prayed that the story inside would be a positive one of career renewal and personal growth. I mean, I know that all of these stars have brought it on themselves, and I know that – like my husband says – I probably shouldn’t care about these spoiled, pampered people WHO I DO NOT EVEN KNOW, but …

I want Matt Le Blanc to have a stellar career now Friends is over (on this point, I spent the greater part of this morning on IMDB, looking up all the actors from Friends and just HOPING they’d gone on to great things. Um, most hadn’t. Which made me sad). I want Ben Cousins to get his life together and return to football bigger and better. I wanted Christina Aguilera’s latest album to be a hit. I want every Jennifer Aniston movie to win at the box office. I wanted Ricky Ponting to get the Ashes back (and not just because I’m a Tasmanian. I actually don’t really even know what The Ashes even ARE. I just didn’t want Ricky to be sad). I want Brad and Angelina to be happy. I want Courtney and David to get back together! I want the latest vampire book to be good and I want people to stop criticising Jamie Oliver because his 30 minute meals sometimes take longer than 30 minutes to prepare! Goshdarnit!

I just don’t GET this whole “schadenfreude” thing. When people stuff up, I feel for them. I don’t think this makes me a better person than someone who was really happy that the latest Harry Potter wasn’t as awesome as the rest of them. I just can’t HELP it. Am I the only one who thinks like this? Is it pathetic that I care? Or, like my dad and my husband – the two best men in the world – reckon: I shouldn’t give a toss* about plonkers like Shane Warne.

*See what I did there? That was a cricketing metaphor … right? Do they toss stuff in cricket? Ummm …

Addendum and clarification: Since I have been asked, no I don’t feel sorry for people like Mel Gibson and Chris Brown. There is no excuse – ever – for hitting a woman. I just wish they hadn’t done it!!!

6 thoughts on “Poor Shane Warne

  1. Well, they do toss a coin right at the start to decide who bats and who fields :-). Poor Shane, a dream to watch with a cricket ball in his hand, your Dad is right Katie, it’s soooo much more than throwing a ball, hitting it and running up and down. But then I’m a cricket tragic too. Pity the Gifted Dickhead’s wife didn’t apply superglue to his fly zips and mobile phone keys. Schadenfreude is one of the (many) less attractive human traits, it’s lovely that my daughter-in-law doesn’t suffer from it xxxx


  2. I’m guessing you don’t enjoy Australia’s Funniest Home Videos either? All those kids/adults/pets getting hit in the face by sports equipment or falling through trampolines or riding their bikes into fences (not the pets for that last one, obviously)? Me either.

    I don’t tend to indulge in Schadenfreude, but I also find it difficult to care one way or the other about high profile celebrities like Shane Warne. I’m inclined to agree with your dad’s opinion of him, but then again, what do I really know? All of my information about his personality comes from the media and we know how fickle they can be.

    It’s nice that you are so caring and positive. More people like you and some of those tabloids making their money out of the mistakes and indiscretions of others would go out of business. 🙂


  3. Shane comes under the category of Gifted Dickhead. People with major talent and major stupidity. My friends and I spend HOURS adding to this list when we are together. Think about it. It’s addictive stuff.

    To me he is like that old friend of your husband’s. The one who forgot to grow up. The one who gets pissed at every party and makes a dill of himself. Everyone shakes their heads and thinks ‘when will he learn?’. Answer. Never.

    But I still have a place in my heart for Warney. And I sincerely wish he was still playing cricket. On the field, he is a joy to watch. Off the field, not so much.


  4. I am a proud mum that you are such a caring girl. But Dad is right! Poor old Shane is a tosser who treats women very disrespectfully and he isn’t very bright and whatever was Liz thinking!!


  5. Of course it’s not pathetic that you care! You’re an innately kind, empathic person. Be proud – you make the rest of us realise we should care more too!! It may take a fair old effort, in the case of our mate Shane, but I’m going to try … ;D


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